I'm really not sure how else to classify this material. There's not much here just now, but that will change - eventually.
I wish I could offer an excuse for this, but all I can say is: I had just watched John Woo's The Killer, I was waiting for my grade on a data mining midterm, and my brain wandered off when I wasn't looking. It came back with this:
Beauty and the Beast as HK action thriller. Notable parts include Mei Li (our Belle analogue), Mei Li's dad, Mei Li's gorgeous but greedy and therefore spiritually empty sisters, Yu Cha Guei (a thoroughly rotten cop who's out to make himself a reputation by stepping on anyone who gets in his way if necessary), Ah-Chiang (our Gaston) the swaggering in-your-face gangster, and Qinshou (Beast), his rival. Trouble is, Qinshou got roped into the guns-and-money life without really meaning to, and now finds himself stuck with it. Can't seem to find a way out that doesn't involve bleeding from about twenty or thirty bullet holes and assorted exit wounds. He's really good at what he does, which makes Ah-Chiang proud- Ah-Chiang's the one who dragged him into it in the first place. Ah-Chiang's getting a little suspicious of his sometime protege, though, mostly because he thinks Qinshou is too ambitious for Ah-Chiang's position. In point of fact it's more in the nature of Qinshou trying to provoke someone into killing him so it all can stop, but that's a concept Ah-Chiang doesn't understand...
Neither does Guei, who's an utter rat-bastard. Humanity in the enemy is a weakness to be exploited, not a thing to be nurtured and appealed to. Guei is trying to crack Ah-Chiang's gang open and has come to the conclusion that Qinshou is the best way to do it. He's managed to track Qinshou down once or twice, but can't seem to find his lair - that's all right, though, Guei has other ways of putting the screws to Qinshou and is trying to provoke him into betraying Ah-Chiang without letting Ah-Chiang know he's been betrayed until after the cuffs are on. Of course, once Guei has what he wants, Qinshou is gonna get screwed 'cos Guei can't offer him anything concrete - just a lot of lying promises and a less painful end than the gangs would give him.
Of course, there's Mei Li and her family. Mom died ages ago. Mei Li's dad is a well-meaning but not very well paid clerk of some kind who gets an opportunity to go somewhere overseas on business. He asks the daughters what they want for souvenirs. The two older ones ask for expensive, exotic items; Mei Li asks for something small and simple, some tchotchke that you could get in any gift shop. Off Dad goes. Unfortunately he's so hard pressed to do his work and fulfil his greedy daughter's wishes that the bauble goes unpurchased until he's back in Hong Kong. He goes looking for the item - finds it - and winds up a witness to a bloody gun battle involving Qinshou, who takes him hostage. Finding the expensive presents for the other daughters, Qinshou assumes Dad can be ransomed and sends a message to the family. No ransom is available, but Mei Li volunteers to go and stand as a hostage for Dad's good behavior - among several other implications. Qinshou agrees.
The rest of the movie progresses as per spec with Mei Li getting a clearer concept of what the world is really like, without being necessarily corrupted by it. Her father tries going to the police eventually, but contacts the wrong one - the corrupt cop of earlier. Her sisters, who were not that fond of Mei Li to begin with but who want the whole mess over with, do some nosing around of their own and wind up getting in bed with Guei and Ah-Chiang respectively. Qinshou discovers that there are certain advantages to trying to be a respectable human being, even if you're surrounded by rot and filth, and puts effort into it in the hopes he'll be able to impress Mei Li. Guei senses this as weakness and starts making more pressing moves on Qinshou, setting a deadline he has to meet otherwise it'd be a real shame if something went horribly wrong with Qinshou's girlfriend's family, wouldn't it? Ah-Chiang gets wind of Guei's attention and decides Qinshou has already ratted him out. The sisters discover this and start trying to cover their own butts, succeeding only in making things worse. Mei Li finds out last of all and starts pushing as hard as she can to get Qinshou to at least redeem himself before he gets blown to smithereens. The day of the deadline Mei Li does what she was forbidden to do - telephones her father. Guei and Ah-Chiang both intercept the mobile call and converge on Qinshou, and each other. Mei Li gets cut down first, and we get to see exactly how Beast earned his nickname...
To borrow from Rinkworks.com's Movie-A-Minute review of Face/Off, 71 million bullets later, everything is fixed - except that, well, yanno, Mei Li's dead. But then again, Ah-Chiang's dead too. The corrupt Yu Cha Guei dies HORRIBLY. The sisters get splattered or something, I haven't decided what to do with them. Ah-Chiang's gang is reduced to a buncha meat patties on the floor. The only ones left are Qinshou, Mei Li's dad, and the good cops Mei Li's dad summoned at his daughter's phone call, who arrive too late. Qinshou starts to move like he's expecting a firefight, then stops, and shows he absorbed SOMETHING from Mei Li - he gets ready to be arrested and go quietly. Only Mei Li's dad steps forward first and introduces him to the cops as his son-in-law. The good cops, being friends of Dad's, allow this to slide and start cleaning things up, and Qinshou and Mei Li's dad walk away, leaving the Scene of Unimaginable Violence behind them.
Another bit of evidence pointing in the drection of insanity:
Exactly how hard would it be, d'you think, to render Moby Dick as a samurai movie? No, seriously. Take out the white whale and substitute an extremely unpleasant daimyo, someone who cost our noble, vengeance-driven main character his leg. Make the crew of the Pequod Ahab's retainers and other men-at-arms, or possibly other samurai- I'm not sure of that part. The most important bit falls on someone else anyway: the captain of the whaleboat Rachel. As a samurai movie, Moby-Dick is about the importance of oaths and honour, and whether sworn vengeance trumps lifelong debt; Ahab committed a great crime in the book, the crime of rejecting the plea of a former shipmate in favour of vengeance upon the White Whale. Make the Rachel's captain an old brother-in-arms of our hero, someone to whom he owes his life- or possibly an old blood-brother. When the two meet during the campaign against the evil daimyo, our hero is faced with a choice: assist the man to whom he owes his life in his quest for news of his kidnapped child, or fulfil his own ill-sworn oath of vengeance. Perhaps this time he wants to help his old friend, perhaps he wants to fulfil that debt- but he made the mistake of swearing too strong an oath, and now he's caught.
"The Gods will not forgive you this, Ahab!"
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